Thursday, July 14, 2016

The Omega Man To Join Outsider Poetry Slam League of America in 2017

The Omega Man himself has decided to join the Outsider Poetry Slam League of America in 2017, but has not chosen a team. It is rumored he is leaning heavily towards the Rockford Pages, but no statement has been made yet. 

The Omega Man will be competing in the OPSLA in 2017, possibly with the Rockford Pages

The move may help shift the balance of power away from the Rancho Cucamonga Kookamungas, who recently signed Tom Baker, the fourth incarnation of Dr. Who for the 2017 season, and are promising many more celebrity signings.

Rockford sorely needs an injection of hope for the 2017 season, as they went winless in the inaugural OPSLA season, despite a promising lineup that included Outlaw Poet Thomas L. Vaultonburg, Jesus Correa, and The Leader of Something Horrible Tim Stotz.

The Omega Man would fit in seemlessly in Rockford, a city forsaken by anyone with logic or decency, and declared America's third dumbest, fattest, and most violent city by the national media. 

Other teams in the league have also been scrambling to make off season acquistitions, with the Chemung Shamans signing Game of Thrones actor Peter Dinklage, and of course the Dr. Who signing by Rancho Cucamonga. 

In other news, the Rules Committee is meeting this week in Orlando to discuss several proposed rule changes to make competition more fair, including fair and impartial referees and judges, whereas the home team now is required to provide celbrity judges. The system has been abused nearly from the beginning, and a core of disinterested judges is clearly needed. Other rules changes include limiting bouts to non-alcoholic venues as several riots broke out during last season's contests. 

Eight new teams have applied to be included in the OPSLA season, with cities in Sheboygan, Yakima, and Hell, Minnesota getting approval.

  1. The Hell Hollerers will compete in the 2017 Outsider Poetry Slam season

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