Monday, July 18, 2016

The Ubermenscher Himself Joins Outsider Poetry Slam League of America

Tibetan Tulpa demon The Ubermenscher, made famous in the "Arcadia" episode of The X-Files, will be joining the Hell Hollerers of the Outsider Poetry Slam League of America next season. For many centuries believed to be merely a figment of the collective unconscience, the Tulpa Demon, who prefers to be referred to as Walter Clemons, is actually a big fan of both slam poetry and the outsider poetry slam, and contacted league president and former star of Dawn of the Dead Dr. Millard Rausch to ask if figments of the imagination were eligible to compete in OPSLA sanctioned events. Dr. Rausch said there is no rule expressly forbidding that, so Ubermenscher filled out the paperwork, and was quickly signed by the newest franchise, the Hell, Michigan Hollerers. 

The Ubermenscher is actually very politically conscious, and recommends all Americans vote... or else. 

Asked in an interview if his tendency to shatter the eardrums of humans with his voice will be a detriment to to his performance in the OPSLA, Walter Clemons made an intonation, shattered the reporter's ear drums, then shambled off. 

What will this new franchise, the Hell Hollerers, roster look like. We know Helen Reddy and Helen Mirren are already signed to the team, with rumors that Donald Trump will join once he is humiliated in the presidential race.

Is it a good idea to get off the Ubermenscher's lawn? Yes. Play Pokemon Go in his neighborhood? No. Play Nickleback songs in his earshot? No.

We haven't even gotten to the Winter Meetings, and there have already been many exciting developments for OPSLA franchises, including the addition of the Yakima Yakkers, Hell Hollerers, and Sausalito Saucy Saucers. Also, the signing of many celbrities, including Bub the Zombie, Dr. Who, Peter Dinklage, and Raven Shadmock. 

The Outsider Poetry League of America is the world's largest competitive slam poetry league, and the champion of the OPSLA is considered the best slam poetry team in the world. This year the championship was won by the Rancho Cucamonga Kookamungas. One might think the Kookamungas might be resting on their poetic laurels, but that has not been the case as they have been perhaps the busiest team in the league already this off season, and intend to create the first minor league poetry system. 

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