Millard Rausch Named Poet Laureate of United States

The eye-patch wearing scientist from Dawn of the Dead, Dr. Millard Rausch, has been named poet laureate of the United States according to Variety. The announcement was made this afternoon by the Minister of Rivers and Streams, and cannot be annulled except by an act of Congress.

Rausch's 1975 book of poetry Her Last Few Fucks Were Wasted is considered a classic of both outsider and outlaw poetry, and contains the classic poem My Testicles Are Harder Than Bricks.

Rockford, Illinois is now the most violent city in America under 200,000 people, but we play a lot bigger than that. Sort of like Dennis Rodman. 

Anyway, I was watching All the Colors of the Dark when the news about Millard Rausch, league commissioner of the Outsider Poetry League of America came down. It was a little bit of a surprise, as Dr. Rausch has not released a book of poetry in over a decade, but it makes sense to those who know about literature. 

Dr. Millard Rausch named Poet Laureate of the United States

I voted today. I had the inclination to do a write in vote for one of the races, but decided not to because I didn't want to take the chance of invalidating my ballot. There were four election judges and three voters there when I arrived. I guess people couldn't be bothered.